Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Two Entirely Unrelated Unrelated Things

As I was sitting here reading other blogs, the word "function" seemed to pop out at me. I began to think about it a bit and, just like the rest of now-a-day culture's tendency to spell things similar-but-different(ly), I thought of the spelling F-U-N-K-S-H-U-N. The cleverness of this was immediately apparent to me. I would name my band Funkshun. I would name my clothing line Funkshun. Or, perhaps, Funkshun - an essence by Almost Quintessence. Oooh...that's catchy. Maybe "Funkshun Power Drink" for Soul Train dancers. Perhaps I can even have an instrument named after me like Les Paul - the Almost Quintessence Funkshun...clarinet. Maybe not.

I thought there might be an off chance that someone else had this little epiphany as well so I Googled the word funkshun. 660 results. Oh well.

And now, an entirely different little story...

I'm not sure what prompted this, but I decided to look up the word "secretariat" in the dictionary. Now, up until this point, my only working definition of the word was none other than the amazing chestnut horse that wowwed the world in 1973. He won the Triple Crown that year - setting track records at the Kentucky Derby and Preakness Stakes and a world record at Belmont (as well as several other record breaking races that year). Truly an athlete.

So, I pull out my Webster's Encyclopediec Unabridged Dictionary of the English Language and this is what I find: sec-re-tar-i-at n. 1. the officials or office entrusted with administrative duties, maintaining records, and overseeing or performing secretarial duties, esp. for an international organization: the secretariat of the United Nations. 2. a group of department of secretaries. 3. the place where a secretary transacts business, preserves records, etc. Also, sec-re-tar-a-ate.

Umm... Alright, someone has to ask it. Why would anyone name a thoroughbred - an animal that is supposed to be the embodiment of speed and power - after...after... after office space??!!! I mean, had I really thought about it, I knew it would have something to do with that but the word Secretariat has always counjured up the image of the horse. Now...now this! It's like, I dont' know...like when I found out John Wayne's real first name was Marion. Or like finding out the truth about Bob Crane. It's just...disappointing, that's all.

So, maybe I could name my racehorse Funkshun. Maybe WayneCraneFunkshun. Now that's the name of a champion.


D.B. Echo said...

FunkShun would be a great name for a deodorant.

anne said...


Well done! That is an excellent name for a deoderant! I'll call you for any future marketing needs.