Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Oh, Adrenaline! At Long Last, We Are Together Forever!

So, I took my son to get his driving permit yesterday.

My heart rate is starting to come down, thank you very much.

It's not that he's a bad's just that there are so many other drivers out there, and he's my son, and very inexperienced, and did I mention he's my son and there are so many other people on the road and he's my son?

I can't explain it but those of you who have kids know exactly what I mean.

It was great and terrifying. Greatly terrifyig.

He wanted to drive home from the driver's center but I wouldn't let him.

"Not on this road" said I. "We're going to start out on some small back roads at home and then we can work up to this."

As luck would have it, we couldn't have made it 100 feet down the road from the driver's center parking lot when a guy backed right out of his driveway in front of me. This is a 4 lane highway we're on folks. There shouldn't even be driveways on 4 lane highways but, as the story goes, the houses were there first and progress and planning came along at a much later date. So now, you have these little houses with little driveways - not big enough to turn a car around in - on this 4 lane highway where the speed limit is 55. So, if one is not coming from the driver's center parking lot a mere 100 feet away, but rather tooling along doing the speed limit, you can have one of these folks - the "Teachable Moment Folks" I like to call them - back out in front of you. And, you know, it's not some youngish aggressive driver in a 5 speed BMW backing out in front of you. No, no my dear readers. It's a rather aged person is a big-ass automatic Buick that would only see any kind of quick and immediate acceleration if it was strapped to an ICBM.

"Whoa there, Buddy! What the heck are you doing? Can't you see cars are coming?" I rattle at the unknowing driver. "There. There you go" I said to my son. "The perfect reason you can't drive home today." Luckily, I managed to scoot around him unscathed but not unseethed. "Idiot."

Son, of course, was confident in his abilities to avoid the lumbering Buick. I, on the other hand, am slightly more skeptical.

We spent the rest of the trip home with me prattling on about "tips for dirving" and grilling him on road signs.
Me: What does that sign mean?
Him: Merging traffic from the right.
Me: Good. What does that sign mean?
Him: Caution, hard right turn ahead. Slow to 35 miles per hour.
Me: Good. What does that sign mean?
Him: Um...Interstate 81 is that way?
Me: Good. What does that sign mean?
Him: Uh...McAdoo is getting public sewer. That has nothing to to with driving...
Me: Never you mind. What does that sign mean?

And so on.

He did eventually get to drive. We all went out after hubby got home for work for a celebratory dinner of diner food with deep fried appetizers, complete with soft ice cream for desert. Of course, it was dark by the time we left.

"You know" I ventured, "It's ok if you had enough for today. I can drive home."

He was having none of it.

So, there you have it folks. My kid is out and about on the Pennsylvania roadways. It's amazing to me how many parents are going through this every day, knowing their child is now out among the driving population. It has really opened my eyes at my own driving habits, encouraging me to be a little extra careful. So, if you don't mind me asking a favor...BE CAREFUL!!! THAT'S MY KID OUT THERE!!!!!


D.B. Echo said...

Thanks for the warning! Can you strap a bicycle flag to the antenna or something so that when we see him coming, we know to get out of the way?

Cuz E said...

Who are you foolin' -- I know his dad (and uncles) and that kid has been driving longer than I have.

Jozet said...

I am just warning you...I liked this so much and was laughing outloud...and next thing I know, mom is over my shoulder reading it. She asked me to print it out for her, and she was laughing outloud reading it, too.

I just don't know whether or not she's computer savvy enough to get your blog address. Which would then mean she has mine.

But you know, I'm okay. I figure that after 38 years, what's not to know. Except I might have to go back and edit out the part about her attic being the Forbidden Zone. And the post that talks about all the pot I've smoked. And then...


anne said...

I'm thinking if I can just gat everyone else to stop driving for, oh, 5 yeras or so we'll be good. If not, he'll be the one in the car that has 6 feet of high-impact foam strapped all around it. Maybe a bicycle flag on top.

cuz e-
If only! If only those years of driving since age 5 could transfer to the road...

Well, I figured it might happen sooner or later. I may as well open up to her about that night when I was 16 and took the T-Bird over the state line for a wild night of drinking, drugs and gambling in A.C.
Just kidding, mom.