I know the title is a little backwards but I figure most people like to get the good news last. Also it will keep you on your toes.
So, first The Ugly...
Most of you who read this know my dear seestor and you can pretty much figure on how the genetic chips fell. For those of you who don't, I will give a quick summation. My dear older sister got the looks, the body, the brains, the wit, the talent, etc.
I got...um...well...I got my grandmother's really big arms which would probably be good for working the fields of Poland. And...I got...um...a pretty good tolerance for heat and loud noises...which would be good for...um...working the fields of Poland during a war in the summer. And I got...um...well...I suppose that's it.
So anyway, it is only when the planets align perfectly perfect that I can look at myself in the mirror, smile and say "Well...that'll have to do." And that, my friends, is a good day.
It just so happened that I was on my way to one of those good days recently. For some strange reason my hormones, which have waged a continuouse battle on my face since age 11, decided to have a cease fire. One day of no zits, blotches or blemishes. One good day out of my entire life. It was nothing short of a miracle, my friends. I went into the bathroom to get ready for work, looked in the mirror and realized this, this is the day I have been waiting for all my life. I could cast aside the concealer saying "Not today, Covergirl. I don't need you!"
Who knew? I mean, really. I was just getting a shower. And I don't even really have nails! Whhaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
I was washing my face, for cryin' out loud! I just went to splash some water on my soapy face, misjudged and OW! I gouged a rather large chunk of skin right out of my chin. A gouge! Out of my chin! What the crap??!! That is so unfair!
So, instead of having a small little red spot on my face that I could hide with make-up, I had a huge wound pulsing deep, red blood.
When I got into the office my co-worker told me I looked like I fell off my bike.
And now...The Bad...
So, if any of you read the last post, you know my teenage son now has his driver's permit. And I was worried about it. Silly me. How misguided was my concern.
For, lo! He bought himself a dirt bike. Not just a dirt bike like BMX bicycle. No, no. This is a motorcycle dirt bike ala Evil Knievel. Hello, it's a freaking RACING BIKE. Like FAST. Sigh, again.
You know, it didn't really bother me too much because he's been riding since he was 6. It's not like this is anything new. And, to be honest, I'm kind of proud of him. He worked at odd jobs and saved up the money himself. He found the bike himself and now it's in our garage.
The clever among you may say "Why is it in the garage? Why isn't he out riding it?"
That would be his tooth. Or, more appropriately, the lack of his tooth.
You see, he did go out riding. And jumping. And crashing. And then for an emergency root canal. And then for x-rays on his face. Did I mention that he hasn't even been out of school for a full week yet?
So, next week we get to go see the orthodontist about a new tooth.
As for me, I'm pushing for a gold cap. You know, for that gangsta look.
And by now, we're all about ready for...The Good
Well, I'm a proud new mother. I've waited for months and now, my little one has arrived.
Not a BABY for Pete's sake! What the heck it the matter with you?!!
Yes...it's a Martin. A beautiful, baby Martin.
My dear hubby - did I mention how much I love him? - got it for me as a birthday present.
The story is, I found the guitar I wanted and decided I would save up, little by little, to buy it. I printed out the information on it, drew a little "This-Is-How-Much-I-Raised" thermometer next to the picture, and stuck it on the refrigerator. My plan was that, by looking at the guitar every day, I would be motivated not to spend my money on anything frivolus like food and, instead, save my money for the guitar. I suppose my hubby figure I'd be long ago starved to death by the time the guitar actually arrived so he went and ordered it for me.
What a guy!
Did I mention how much I love him? And really, it's not just because he got me a Martin. Really, it's not.
So, there you have it, The Ugly, The Bad and The Good. Just another day in the life...