Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Hello? FDA?

Oooookay.

So, I went to the grocery store tonight. I like shopping at the grocery store at night. Especially after taking pain killers and muscle relaxants but that's neither here nor there. And, hey, I have a prescription anyway.

I like shopping at night because all the other weirdos are out. And they play good music over the speakers. Not the weirdos, the store people. Oh cut it out, you know what I mean.

But I'm misleading you. This post isn't about the weirdos at the grocery store or the music.

This post is about ravioli. Raviolis? Raviolies? Raviolioes?

I shop at Giant in Hazleton because of the pretty good prices and background music. Also, it's not too far away and offers a pretty decent selection of stuff.

Hubby and I have this ongoing ... thing ... about grocery shopping. He's a generic man and I'm a brand name woman. Although, through patience and a steady hand, he has retrained most of my thriftless ways. There are, however, some things that I will not compromise on. Frosted Flakes and Pop-Tarts probably being the two biggies. I'm sorry but Toaster Pastries just don't cut it. They taste like...I don't know, unPop-Tarts.

Anyway...

I figured I'd get a bag or two of frozen raviolioes for those days when I want to feel like I can cook like an Italian but without all the effort. I might pull out the flour and rolling pin to try homemade pierogies but even that would take the aligning of several planets, an act of Congress and a promise of Plenary Indulgence. Homemade ravioliolioes? Fuggeddaboudit.

I did a quick scan of the raviolioliolo selcection and figured one is as good as the next so I whipped out my abacus, and after a quick comparison of price per unit on each brand, and taking into account Giant Bonus Points, multiply that by the U.S. Produced Ravioli Tax Incentive I plan to claim on next year's return, carry the seven...and the obvious choice was the Giant generic brand of mini ravioliolettes.

Later that evening...

After putting the groceries away, I was feeling a bit peckish. In the hungry sense. What to eat? What to eat? Oh! Why I could just open a bag of Giant brand mini raviolikins and heat up a few with a skosh of tomato sauce. Mmm, mmm. A plan indeed.

I put some water in a pot and set it on the stove to boil, being extra careful not to watch it. When the water was ready, I opened a bag of mini raviolililliputians and dumped a few in. Then I scanned the back of the bag for an idea on how long it would take.

Now.

Here is the whole reason for this post.

The directions read - and I'm not lying one bit - "Heat until inner ravioli temperature reaches 165 degrees fahrenheit."


Um...WHAT?????



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8 comments:

Madame Pocklock said...

What ever happened to, when they float, they're done!? Maybe I'm making that up. I can't even boil and egg, but my ravioliolios are usually pretty darn tasty!

Great post. I have the same meat..ah..erm...ravioli thermometer. It's from the year of God and He's the only one that knows if it works.

tony c said...

I guess "Boil 'em till they float" ain't scientific enough.

Now, if the FDA can just get some porta-potties and disinfectant soap out there in California to keep the farm help from shitting all over the lettuce, now that would be something.

anne said...

Actually, I always go for the float=done method but I just wanted an idea of how long it might take until they float. I tend to wander away from my cooking and lose track of time. By the time I do remember to check if they are floating, the poor little things are empty shells in a very watery ricotta cheese sauce.

Really, I probably shouldn't even be allowed in the kitchen.

Madame Pocklock said...

Well, for the record. The one in the picture looks done!

Kelly said...

lol..your picture is too funny. They are some pretty strict standards for ravioli doneness. Can you throw one at the wall and see if it sticks, like the way I test my spaghetti for doneness?

stephanie said...

it's really this inner-jedi-science thing. which i know nothing of. i think it's that float thing, too, but, like pocklock, my kitchen skills are quite limited!

mad muthas said...

this is clearly so you can't sue them if you should ever get food poisoning. what? you didn't test the temperature? case dismissed!

wordigirl said...

I've never done a blind taste test, but it's my opinion that Pop-Tarts and Un-Pop-Tarts taste radically different. But I'm not a scientist.