Night of the Wish I Was Dead

...zzz...

...zzz...

...zz?...

Wha? Hm? Oh.

Oh hi. Hi everyone.

Everybody doing ok out there? Yeah? That's good.

Me? Oh, I'mmmmzzzzzzz....


I'm a little tired. Can you tell? I'm really kind of running on empty right now.

Actually, no. I'm running on pain killers and muscle relaxants. I think I mentioned once before about the whole chronic migraine thing and how the medication I'm on for it, even though is says on the bottle "MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS", that it does not, in fact, cause drowsiness but the exact opposite of drowsiness. Awakiness. Or alternatively, Very Alertiness.

So it would seem as though the migraine monster is going to rear its ugly, painfull, throbbing, light and sound sensitive head again. This past Wednesday I could feel it coming on. You know, the little bit of uncomfortableness that starts in your eyeball and eventually works its way through your brain, into your neck and pretty much the rest of your life? Yeah, that.

I managed to put off taking my medication until probably a little too late in the afternoon on Thursday because by about 10pm that evening, when all the other little real estate agents are nestled and snug in their beds, I was wondering if there were any 200 acre tracts of land that I could walk. Or maybe I could clean? How about that? Oh, yeah. Other people in the house are sleeping. Well then, how about finally taking down the Christmas tree? Nah, not yet. How about spending way too much time on the computer researching heritage breed chickens?

Ok! That sounds productive!

So at about 4:30am Friday morning, after I managed to track down every breeder of Javas, Dominiques, Delawares and Chanteclers on the east coast and email them about chickens. I finally stumbled off to bed.

I can't even imagine what the chicken people must think when they check their email and find a message from someone who was still up at 3 in the morning inquiring about chickens. Maybe they think I'm really excited about it. Or really strange.

Then 6 o'clock rolls around and, hey guess what, it's time to get up again! Because guess what? Work!

Oh, and guess what else? Guess what lack of sleep contributes to?

Oh! I know! I know!

More migraines! Whee! It's like being on some kind of crazy ride that goes around and around. And around. With pain. And then medicine. And then more chickens!

I managed to make it through work and get a second wind. I knew I had to stay awake until at least 11pm because sonny boy and baby girl were on their first ski club trip and would need a ride home from the school. And, since hubby was working night shift, it was all up to me. So, around 11pm, I left the house and headed for the school. Baby girl decided to go to a friend's house to sleep over so it was just me and sonny boy going home. On the way, sonny boy reminded me that he needed a ride to camp because the winter trip for his scout group was this weekend.

Tonight.

That very night. The one where I promised myself that by 11:30 I would be in REM state.

As it turns out, 11:30 found me checking my email to see if any of the chicken people responded (they didn't) while waiting for sonny boy to gather his camping stuff. By 12:30am we were on the road to the campground.

The one on the other side of the county.

An hour away.

And then another hour home.

So, around 3am or so, I finally crawled to bed.

And then up again at 6am! Woohoo! Because why? Why would I get up at 6am on Saturday when I don't have to go to work? Well, let's see... Oh! Oh yes! The class.

I signed up to take a class!

Doesn't that sound fun? Kickboxing? Pottery? Or could I finally be on the road to learning how to play my violin?

Nope.

How about...


Real Estate Law.

Now that sounds exciting eoungh to keep me awake, doesn't it? I bet you all envy me knowing that I spent this past Saturday, and will spend the next three Saturdays, studying Real Estate Law.

You all just wish you were that cool, eh? No? Not even a little bit?


Fine.


Well, at least I knew I had the evening to get my little self to bed early and finally catch up on the lack of z's I had suffered.

Or...

not.

Ok, well not completely. Because I did manage to take a nap on the couch for about 2 hours until

Ring.

Ring.Ring.

Ring,Ring,Ring,RRRIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGG

Me: Mmph. What? Hello?
Hubby: Were you sleeping?
Me: Mmph. Hello?
Hubby: Hey,
Me: What? Where are you?
Hubby: I'm on my way to pick up baby girl. How do I find the owner of a dog?
Me: What?
Hubby: A dog. I found a dog. How do I find the owner?
Me: What time is it?
Hubby: 11 o'clock. He doesn't have any id tags.
Me: What kind of dog?
Hubby: A chocolate lab.
Me: Where did you find him?
Hubby: He was on the road. It's really foggy. How do I find out who owns him?
Me: um... Where exactly are you?
Hubby: Near the baseball field.
Me:...um...isn't there a bar near there? Why don't you go there and ask around?
Hubby: Ooh. Good idea.

...zzz...

Ring.
Ring,ring,ring.
Me: Mmph?
Hubby: No one there knew who he belongs to.
Me: What?
Hubby: The dog. No one knew.
Me: Where is he now?
Hubby: In the car. He's coming home with us.
Me: Oh.

So a few minutes later hubby and baby girl showed up with a chocolate lab. He had a collar on and you could see that his family took good care of him. He was older - a little gray around the muzzle - but in good shape.

We introduced him to the beagles, gave him a drink of water, set him up with a comfy blanket on the kitchen floor and then went off to bed. Finally.


Finally I could lay my head on my comfy pillow.

Finally I could snuggle under my two comfortors.

Finally I could




Bark.


Hm?


Bark.

Dont' get up.

Bark.

Just lay here.

Bark.

He's just getting settled.

Bark. Bark.

He'll lay down soon.

Bark. Bark, bark.

Just close your eyes.

Bark. Bark. Bark.

Just take nice, slow, deep brea-

BARK!

This isn't going to work.

BARK! BARK,BARK,BARK! BARKITY BARK BARK!

Oooohhh...

BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK...


2am...

BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK...

4am

BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK...

5am

Bark. Bark,bark.

Bark?

6am

Beep,beep,beep,beep,beep,beep,beep,beep,beep...

BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK

Beep,beep,beep,beep,beep,beep,beep,beep,beep...

BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,BARK,

8am (in church)

Please, God, please let a very large rock fall off some very high mountain onto my head today. Amen.



The happy ending to the story is that we were able to locate the owner later that day. And I finally got some sleep Sunday night.

Until...


Oh, nevermind.