Ain't it just a pickle when you are supposed to pick someone to give a verbal spanking to and you can't come up with anyone?
That's a good thing, yes?
I mean, ok there are all the monsters in the national news and all but I have to admit that I haven't been keeping tabs on them this week. I honestly have to say...I wasn't paying attention.
Not enough, anyway.
No one is sticking out.
So, for lack of an obvious choice, I will have to go with the default Geek of the Week...
George W. Bush.
No, I'm kidding. I don't want to pick him just because he's easy fodder.
This is terrible. But good. You know, this means that nobody has managed to ruffle my feathers.
Although, now that I just typed that, I have decided that I will pick for this week's geek, Killer - our terrible, rotten rooster.
Because he chases me daily to and from my car. And he's a sneaky bastard, too. He won't actually start to chase me until I am pretty far on my way down the sidewalk -having already nervously glanced over my shoulder several times, thus falling into the false sense of security that he is somewhere else. When, in fact, he is hiding behind a bush or a plastic pumpkin or something, biding his time until the perfect moment to strike.
Usually, if I hear him in time, I can turn around and stop him in his tracks by staring him down and continuously yelling "Knock it off!" or "Not today!" And then he'll stop...until I start walking again and then he'll begin the chase again. Until I stop. And yell at him.
The other day, however, I was in too much of a hurry to play his little game and I just jogged right to my car without stopping...or even looking. I got in the driver's side and, shortly after I closed the door, I heard a "Womp!" on the side of the car. He ATTACKED MY CAR. A CAR. This rooster weighs all of about 6 pounds and he attacked a freaking Toyota Camry.
He is so notorious that my mother carries a stick in her car to beat him off when she comes to visit. Nothing says "Idyllic farm" like a psychotic rooster.
Maybe it's just a desperate cry for attention.
Well, he got it. He's Geek of the Week.
This post was brought to you by NaBloPoMo and Perrier.