I'm On A Roll!

Two days. Two posts.

Look at me go.


Ok, so I believe that the Friday theme is Geek of the Week.

I was a bit concerned about this one because I was making it through the week relatively unscathed by the rest of the human race.

That is until this afternoon.

I had a class today which wrapped up arount 4pm. I had just enough time to make a very quick stop at the local mall before I had to high tail it home and get ready for senior appreciation night at the football game. Yes, my beautiful, lovely daughter is a senior. And running back.

No, just kidding. She's a baritone. Actually, she's an alto but she plays a baritone in the marcing band. So, onnacounna all her years of dedicated service to the band, we got to walk right down the 50 yard line with her and be at least 10 kinds of proud. We were going to do the Monkeys walk but decided to be grown up about it. AND I got a flower.

The game, unfortunately, was a heartbreaker because we lost. But, on the bright side, at least we scored.


Anyway...


As I was saying, I made a quick stop at the mall with one goal in mind: to find a nice, plain white dress shirt. Fitted. And, hopefully with French Cuffs. Although I was willing to forego the French Cuffs in the interest of just finding a plain fitted shirt.

"Why fitted?" you ask.

Well, here's the problem. I'm a little short in the torso - and everything else, except for sarcasm - so if I wear regular cut women's pants, they ride a little too high. And while I can see the benefit of being able to put one's boobs in one's pants pockets, it's just not the style I am looking for. As a result, I have to buy low rider type pants.

Now if I try to tuck a regular cut dress shirt into these pants, I end up with a bit of a ... puff effect. Not unlike this:



Without the benefit of the air conditioning.

So, fitted.

I got to the mall and made it to the women's department in Anchor Store #1. This is a pretty decent sized store with quite a selection of clothing. Why, they had the white dress shirt with the ruffled front, the pleated front, the empire waist...you name it, they had it. Unless, of course, you name "Plain, fitted dress shirt". Because that? That's a big NO.

Running out of time and options, I made a last ditch effort in the men's department.

Here are two things you need to know about buying a white, fitted dress shirt if you are a man:

1. You will not be allowed to have French Cuffs on a fitted shirt. It's one or the other, baby,

and

2. Men who wear size Small, under no circumstances, are allowed to dress up.

At least those are the two rules I was able to deduce based on the stock available.


So, Fashion Industry, you are my GEEK OF THE WEEK. Because you make it impossible for me to buy a seemingly simple wardrobe staple, you can just hang your collective head in shame.

I curse you. May you all spend eternity in puffy shouldered sweaters purchased at DEB in the 80's. And peg leg jeans. That are acid washed.

Jerks.



Yes.

Two days. Two posts.

Slippin' it in under the wire.



Stay tuned for tomorrow's post: Ugly Sister Smackdown.

Ooh. Ooh, hoo, hoo.


This post was brought to you by NaBloPoMo and Perrier.