Scrambled Eggs - A Love Story

No. Not really.

So...Monday. This is supposed to be random thoughts and whathaveyou. Which, oddly enough, is going to be a bit diffucult for me. My thoughts are verily Un-random today as I am having trouble focusing on anything but the 50,000 p.s.i. head full of snot that I have right now.

Thaaaaat's right. I'm sick.

Sick, sick, sick.

Pressure head. Fever. Chills. Aches. Coughing. Congestion.

And it was all of a sudden like. I was walking out to feed the animals yesterday and it was like someone jumped out from behind the bushes and whacked me with the Snot Stick.

Have I mentioned snot enough yet?

Snot, snot, snot.

How about now?

That snot enough?


A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

He! He...he..h..h..h..

Cough, cough, cough.


Ok, I'll move along.


So...let's see...random. Random, random, random...

Here's something random for you!

A hugerific box appeared on my porch the other day. I mean big. Not refrigerator big but definitely bigger-than-a-breadbox big. It showed up the morning I was on my way out the door to a class so all I had time to do was almost trip over it and then marvel on my way out to the car.

As it turns out, my mother - Miss Randomness, herself - ordered and had delivered to our doorstep a Pilates machine.

I didn't know these things existed.

I heard of Pilates before but I thought it was more of a solo kind of venture - woman (or man) against gravity. Like baking bread the old-fashioned way.

Here, it turns out, there is a whole other dimension to this Pilates business and not unlike baking bread, they have now come up with a machine to make it much easier for today's homemaker. I didn't take it out of the box yet but I am hoping I can just put my body in the machine, turn it on for a little while and, Voila'! I'm a well toned, delicious loaf of bread. Whole wheat bread because I'm going to be all kinds of healthy too.

And I hope the machine is warm.

Because as it turns out, I have only been able to drag it into the sun room and glance in on it every so often, checking to see if the Pilates Elves came to put it together yet. It's been just waaaaaay to cold in the evening to tackle that project.

So, yeah, Pilates machine.


*****


What else?

My daughter is working on a project for her language class in which she has to make a classic-type comic of Oedipus Rex. She has decided to use stuffed animals to portray the going's on, digitally photograph them, and then work them into a comic in some computer program or other that I guess we have.

We were discussing it a bit over dinner and kicking around some ideas on other ways to do it. One was using photos of big-hair band guys from the 80's. The other was to use photos of the Bush family. Another was Barbie.


*****


Saturday I am picking up six chickens which are coming fome some farm in the Long Island area. They are heritage breed chickens - old and kind of rare. I found them on a website for rare and endangered breeds. As it turns out, the people that raise these chickens have another farm in the Berks County area of PA and are going to be in the area this weekend. They graciously offered to meet me in the parking lot of Cabela's - a big outdoor sports store that, even though I haven't been there yet, gives me the Shrine to Conspicuous Consumption heebie-jeebies - where we will make the "exchange".

"Hey, Lady. Wanna buy a chicken?"

So, that seems to fit the random category.


*****


Does the size of one's eyeballs fluctuate with the severity of a fever? I think mine do.


*****


How 'bout a picture?






I took it at the mall when I went to pick up my contact lenses. I actually had a different photo that I wanted to post but, in my sickened delirium, I loaded it onto the computer at work and then erased it from my camera.

I'm so stupid.


*****


If I have a fever and a cold, and I am supposed to starve one and feed the other, am I at risk of Bulimia?

Actually, I think the old adage is: If you're sick, drink Boilo.

Which I shall do momentarily.

But before I go, I would like to wish you all a Happy Guy Fawkes Day and, for God's sake, be carefull with those bonfires!


"We've come a cob coaling for bonfire night
Your coal or your money we hope you'll provide.
If you give us nowt we'll steal nowt, farewell and goodbye,
We won't come again till next bonfire time.

Fol a dee fol a die fol a diddle aye die day

Now down in yon cellar there's nobbut but bugs
They've etten me stockings and half o mi clogs.
We'll get a sharp knife and cut their yeads off
And have a good supper of bugs' yeads and broth.

Fol a dee fol a die fol a diddle aye die day.
Up a ladder down a wall, will you give us a cob o coal!"
- The Greenfield, Saddleworth



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